What I am
by mas1994
Summary: An alternate ending for season 6. Dexter makes different choices and Deb asks a telling question. A lead in to a slightly different beginning of season 7. Review please!


An alternate ending for season 6. Changes the tune and dialogue. Raises some points I felt should be raised. Different start for season 7

The man lying on the table slowly opened his eyes, as if waking from a pleasant nap and looked up. "Hello Jesus" he said, seeing the icon of Christ nailed to a cross directly in his line of vision.

"Hello Travis" a voice replied.

He turned his head quickly, finding his movement constricted by the plastic wrap he was tied in, and saw Dexter Morgan, the Beast. He tried to escape his bindings, but failed to shift himself even an inch. His deathbed had been expertly prepared.

"I have realized that if you were caught by Miami Metro you wouldn't go to the electric chair for your crimes. Want to know why?" Dexter leaned down close to Travis, cutting his cheek with a sharp blade and placing the blood carefully on a slide.

"Because you are insane." He said, spitting the words in the bound man's face.

"There are so many reasons I, and your lawyer could give, starting from following the plan of a ghost in your head-" Dexter looked to the side at what appeared be thin air to Travis "who you killed yourself, to talking to a statue." Dexter pointed to the giant crucifix on the wall."The authorities would let you live drugged, in your twisted _fantasy_ world of witnesses and beasts, until your life came to its "natural" conclusion."

"It's not fantasy, it's religion!", Travis shouted.

"The biggest delusion you suffer is that you think there is a difference." Dexter started circling the table.

"I really want you to die. I wanted you to die before you kidnapped my son and were about to sacrifice him to your God, but now it is personal. I want you to suffer."

"You cannot hurt me, I am protected by God. In dying in his path I will go straight to him while you will suffer in hell for your sins." Travis said with conviction.

Dexter continued, "You think your being on this table in part of God's plan? You are here because_ I_ want you here, because_ I_ want to kill you. If I wanted to help the cause of legal "justice", I would have turned you over to the police. That would have saved lives. They would have put you away weeks ago and the Doomsday killings would have stopped. But what I actually wanted -what I want- is a kill. A nice big kill that will satisfy my dark passenger. He pressed his finger upon Travis's forehead."I am doing this solely for me. Dad do you hear that! This is for me, not you! Finally." He let out the last word with a relieved sigh.

"I wanted a big kill and I got it. You are responsible for ten murders." At this, Dexter lightly touched the blood on Travis's cheek and brought his gloved hand up to his lips, almost touching it to his face, but not quite.

"Finger licking good", Dexter said with a small laugh.

"You are a monster!, Travis exclaimed while trashing on the table. He meant it as an insult, but Dexter just smiled.

"I am, aren't I? I've been so conflicted. You should give yourself a pat on the back, metaphorically of course. You have shown me the light. More than Brother Sam ever could, despite his _good intentions_. This is _what_ I am, this is _all_ I am. I cannot be the father and the son as well as _this._ Deb can uphold your legacy and honor your memory. I know too much about you know to ever see you as the hero I used to see you as. I don't even know if I can follow your code anymore. I've tried to care, I've given up the only person who understood me. But I can't do it anymore. I just can't care about morality and rules. It's tearing me apart! I've believed I'm something I'm not- human! You were right when you were alive. I _am_ a monster!" He shouted to a place near the corner of the wall. "And that's all I want to be." He ended in hushed tones.

"As for being the father." Dexter gained his composure. "Tonight proved that every moment I spend with Harrison I am endangering him. I care too much about him to be so selfish. Harrison would be better off raised by someone else. Everyone I've ever been close to has been- _broken_."

Debra entered the church now and at hearing voices within she ducked to the side to listen and watch in secret. When she saw Dexter leaning over a body wrapped in plastic, with a knife in hand, the wheels in her mind started whirring. She remembered Rudy and Jordan Chase- in rooms filled with the same plastic. Her heart beat faster and she held back sobs.

"I am not the father or the son," Dexter said while crossing himself, "all I am now is the serial killer." He raised his hands to the sky, with a grin.

"You will never reach heaven" Travis cried.

"I am already in my heaven" Dexter pronounced while putting down his visor, turning on his power drill and going to work.

Debra's heart broke as she saw the truth about the man she loved. She sank to the floor, all out sobbing now, but Dexter couldn't hear her over the sound of the drill he was using to cut Travis to pieces.

Finished with the dicing, Dexter started packing the body parts into his trademark black garbage bags, while humming to himself, drunk on the freedom he had decided for his future. In this pleasurable moment right after his dark passenger's total release he let out "I love this feeling."

Debra got up from the floor and stumbled into the main room of the church, determined to know for certain. He had just told her that he loved her for the first time today. Was it a lie? Was his whole life a lie? Every emotion and every moment of comfort he offered her? Was he just like Rudy? If he was, it was her duty to turn him in because he would be a monster who just lived for the kill. The Dexter she knew would not exist, but just be a mask on the face of a predator.

"Do you love it more than me?", she called out from the front of the room, dizzy, but with her head raised high.

"Deb." Dexter looked absolutely stunned. He opened his mouth but no words came out, just the strangled noise of one caught in a noose.

End Credits.

Please review. It's quick and easy! This is my first fanfiction and I need feedback. There is a box right below this line. Type and send!


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